As you might recall from previous posts, I am a long-time Amazon customer, dating back to 1996. Over the past year, I have tried to cut back on Amazon and buy more stuff locally or from other online vendors and have succeeded, to some degree. My year-over-year Amazon spending is down by about 40 percent. So, that’s not nothing.
Apparently, the Amazon gods are not amused. So much so that Amazon is now sending me stuff I never ordered. This is not stuff sent to the wrong address. This is crap addressed to me that I never ordered and know nothing about.
Last night, Amazon delivered a fishing rod.
Since I haven’t gone fishing since 1976, it’s fair to say that I have no idea if this rod is any good. I looked it up (on Amazon, of course) and it’s worth about $60.00. In my world of bicycling, $60.00 doesn’t buy a decent tire, but this is fishing, so I’ll assume it’s a perfectly fine stick for catching fish.
But here’s the thing: I happened to see the Amazon truck pulling up, so I opened the door and met the driver in the driveway. It was about 9:30 PM and the guy looked like a newbie who was not having a particularly speedy or productive day.
He pulled the six-foot-long box out of the truck, and I said “Hi. I don’t think that’s for me. I don’t know what’s in it, but I never ordered anything that would come in that box.”
We looked at the label and sure enough, it was my name and address.
“Is that you?” he asked, pointing to the label.
“Yep,” I said.
“Then it’s yours,” he replied.
He was taking time to rearrange packages in the back of his truck, so I took the box and opened it because you never know. Amazon is known for shipping things in improperly sized boxes (e.g. the pack of gum in the industrial shipping container) and it MIGHT have been something I ordered. I opened it, saw the fishing rod, brought it back out to him and said, “I did not order this. I don’t want it.” And handed it back to him.
He sighed, took it from me and said he would bring it back to the warehouse.
Fast forward 18 hours and I notice a big, tall familiar looking box on my front porch.
Amazon REALLY wants me to go fishing. I have a feeling this fishing rod is going to be like the stray ferret that followed me home from a walk with my dog about 30 years ago. True story for another time but suffice to say it took me a week and cost me about $100 to get rid of that motherf-ing ferret (ended up at local animal rescue and the owner was actually located.)
I went on the Amazon web site and found out that receiving unordered, unwanted packages is some kind of known scam called “brushing.” The Better Business Bureau describes it here.
Consider this a public service announcement as we head into the holiday shoipping season.
I have reported it to Amazon, since it came from their truck and has an Amazon tracking number on it. I have no idea if it indeed is some sort of brushing scam or if it was just a stupid mistake by Amazon. My money (well, someone’s money) is on the latter.
Amazon says that it needs about 10 days to investigate and get back to me, so stay tuned.
If I end up keeping it, I of course will need to buy everything to go with it including:
- Carbon fiber reel
- Custom made flies
- Those hip wader thingies
- A knife
- All the other clothing that goes with a proper gentleman’s fishing accoutrement
- An English setter
- A boat
- A lake house in Vermont to park my boat
- A divorce lawyer
So, let’s hope Amazon just takes back the rod. If not, we’re going fishing in a very dark place.